I know that I deserve someone to treat me well and he did that but I
don't understand the not calling thing. So are you guys curious as to how the
story ends?Here's what happened next:"Okay so I called him and left him a message yesterday
afternoon that I would like to see him again.Update...he did call and left a message
this morning that he thinks we are looking for different things in a relationship and
not the right fit."You know what?That's a great result.Because instead of just sitting around, wondering
what the heck is going on, now Amelia knows exactly where she stands.I believe that
uncertainty is the least pleasant emotion of them all.Luckily, its antidote is simple: TAKE ACTION.And
that's what Amelia did.She called, got a response, and got the information she needed.Now she's
free to spend her precious time and energy somewhere else.The power is within you,Dr AlexDr
Alex Benzer is the author of 'The Tao of Dating: The Thinking Man's Guide to
Success with Women', the companion booklets 'The Tao of Sexual Mastery' and 'The Tao of
Social Networking', and the audio course 'The Tao of Persuasion'. Any advice would be appreciated."Well,
here's my question for Amelia and the other ladies reading this: What do *you* want?Sure,
he hasn't called you (yet).And the only thing that means is that he hasn't called
you (yet).But did you have a good time?Do you want to see him again?You have
a voice, so use it!You see, the year is 2009.Sitting by the phone waiting for
it to ring is so 1956.Besides, he took the risk of Zapatillas Puma asking you out and
already put in the effort to entertain you and take care of you.If you were
already in a partnership with him, would you just sit there, waiting for him to
offer and give again, while you just take?While he takes all the risk?Doesn't really seem
fair, does it.Yet I've found that many women misconstrue this 'taking of turns' as a
lack of interest.Here's an easy way of understanding what's going on: put yourself in the
shoes of the guy.He's put his ego on the line once already and asked you
out -- to his place, no less.He's cooked for you.What are his options now?If he
asks you out again, he could look too eager, especially if it's to his place.Which
brings us to the third point.His not calling you after two days does not necessarily
mean he's "pulling away."If he's smart and respects himself (and has read my books), he'll
wait to see if you reciprocate his hospitality. Hmm.Imagine how *you* would feel if a
man did not call you to say thanks the day after you cooked dinner for
him.Even a day's delay would make you wonder.There's a spiritual principle at work here that
says that you get more of whatever you focus on and give your energy to.So
if you want men to make more home-cooked meals for you, thank them profusely for
that.If you want them to call you early and often, call them early and often.Energy
flows where attention goes.As Gandhi once said memorably, "Be the change you want to see
in the world."So Amelia's expectation that he requin tn give her acknowledgment and attention even though she's
reluctant to volunteer that herself doesn't really work in the long run.Which brings us to
the fourth point:"Anyway he is just out of a 4 year relationship in June and
is 2 times divorced and has 2 kids one from each marriage."Divorced *twice* already? To
paraphrase Oscar Wilde, to lose one marriage is rather unfortunate.To lose two seems downright careless.And
two kids? Now, I don't know exactly what the situation is here.And there are always
extenuating circumstances around such things.However, I firmly believe in setting yourself up for success.The question
Amelia (and everyone else reading this) has to ask is this:"Is this person likely to
be a long-term source of fulfillment for me?" Or, more simply: "Let's say he does
call.Let's say he does ask me out again.Is this really what I'm looking for?"Sometimes we
get caught in a cycle of scarcity and forget to evaluate what's on offer.As Kahlil
Gibran said in 'The Prophet:'"Verily when good is hungry it seeks food even in dark
caves, and when it thirsts, it drinks even of dead waters."I'm here to remind you
of the principle of abundance -- that there is no reason ever to get hungry.Even
when you think you have no options, you do.There are thousands upon millions of potential
companions out there.And the universe is a reflection of your dominant mindset.If you think abundantly
-- "There are so many wonderful people out there that I could be meeting!" then
the universe will agree with you and give you abundance.If you think with scarcity --
"Woe is me!There's only one right person for me and I'll never meet him" --
then the universe will agree with you also.So this man could be anywhere from dreamboat
to nightmare -- I have no idea.What I ask is that you evaluate each person
on his own merits. I guess I'm just going move on and keep working on
myself and grow and hopefully attract someone who does call and does make plans to
spend time with me. Otherwise, he's getting no information on *your* interest level.Better then to
wait for you to make the next move.There's also a side point I'd like to
make here.Amelia almost didn't call the man after the dinner.In fact, in the letter she
says she called him because her friends told her to. "Am I jumping the gun
thinking he's not interested? Just seems if he really liked me and I got the
impression he did why has he not called."Well, I've seen a guy who's not interested,
and it looks different from this (I should know -- I've *been* that guy).A guy
who's really not interested is across the room, talking to someone else, completely unaware of
your existence.He is not inviting you over, cooking dinner for you and cuddling with you.The
most accurate gauge of people's thoughts are their behaviors, so watch what he does.Which brings
us to the second point:"I've never understood why guys do this. He has an MD
from UC San Diego Medical School, an MPhil from Cambridge University and an AB from
Harvard College. He is a certified clinical hypnotherapist and NLP Master Practitioner based in Los
Angeles..
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